Monthly Archives: October 2006

My knees could not hold me up so I sat on the near by stairs. “Are you sure it was Dalia?” I asked praying in my heart that the answer would be No. “Yes, I’m sure,” Bashar said then paused for a second before he continued, “I’ve seen them together twice this week, but I think I’ve seen them before too on the first day of school.” “First day of school?” I echoed thinking of my phone call to her that morning. “Yes. I was ordering my morning coffee as I usually do from Starbucks Le Mall when I spotted Amro and another guy with two girls wearing white coats entering the families section. I thought that one of the girls resembled Dalia a lot but I wasn’t sure so I figured I was probably wrong and dismissed the whole thought from my head.”         

He looked at me wondering if he should go on and I nodded my head yes. “Last Saturday, on my way back home, there was an accident in Al-Madinah Road so it was jammed. The traffic was moving slowly and at some point, Amro’s car came next to mine. I noticed there was a girl in a white coat with him. I looked a little bit harder and her eyes met mine. It was Dalia. Her face went pale when she recognized me. She must’ve told Amro then to move as far away from my car as possible because he started changing lanes then entered the service road and after a while I lost them. I called her then but she didn’t answer. I dialed her number again and again until she finally did. She tried to explain but I didn’t give her the chance. I just told her that she needed to speak with you and tell you all about this before I do. I didn’t want to be the one delivering the hurtful news.”          

He continued, “She told me she would and then I hung up. Today this morning I was supposed to meet Nada, Bashar’s girlfriend at the time, at Vertigo. I noticed Amro’s car parked in front of the place so I went in and looked for them. They were sitting next to each other laughing about something. I went up to her and asked her if she had told you. She panicked and said she was waiting for the right time. I told her that I had no choice but to tell you and she begged me not to. I almost hit Amro then and there but I just gave me him a disgusted look and left. I’m sorry but I thought you should know.” I tried to comprehend what all of this meant but I could not. I had storms in my mind and my heart. Finally, I said, “Bashar please take me home, I’m not sure I could drive myself.”       

Later that night, I finally summoned the courage to call Dalia. “I spoke with Bashar today,” was the first thing I said in a trembling voice when she answered. “What did he tell you?” “Why didn’t you tell me about Amro?” I asked. “First, I didn’t tell you anything because there’s nothing to tell. We’re just friends, nothing more. Second, and I’m sorry to say this, it’s none of your business who I go out with or who my friends are.” “But he’s my friend before you ever knew him. It’s through me you’ve met! Don’t you think you owe it to me to tell me at least?” “Well, I have thought of telling you since he’s your friend and all but I didn’t want you to think that because Bashar saw us I did, because I have nothing to hide.” “Then why did you beg him not to tell me about you and Amro?” “I didn’t do such a thing. He’s lying.” I believed her. I believed her and convinced myself that Bashar was making up stuff.

“Is he the reason you suddenly decided we’re no longer right for each other?” I wondered afraid of the answer. “Are you deaf? I just told you we’re just friends. The first time we’ve gone out was the day I came back from Paris. His brother is Maha’s boyfriend so when we all went out, he came. Other people came, too. We’re a big group of friends and we like to hang out together.” “But Bashar saw you alone with him twice last week.” “Well, the first time, my driver was late so Amro kindly offered to take me back home. The second, we were waiting for the rest to come.” “So what now? You’re going to continue going out with this group?” “Of course I will. We all get along so well and we have a great time. Why shouldn’t I?” “Don’t you think it’s weird that you’re going out with Amro?” “No, I don’t think so. We’re enjoying our time and we’ve become good friends.” “What if I asked you to please stop seeing him?”

“I’m sorry I can’t do that.” “But he’s my friend!” I exclaimed. “So what? We’re not doing anything wrong. I’m fine with it and he seems fine with it too. It doesn’t matter if he’s your friend or not. If you’re upset because he’s a guy, Well. He could’ve been anyone. It just happened it was Amro.” “What do you mean? Are you implying that you may become more than friends now?” “You never know,” she said. “Come on Dalia, please!” “I told you everything I had to. Now what do you want?” “Nothing.” I said goodbye and hung up.   

How can a person change so much in so little time? Just a couple of months ago she was a completely different person. Is who she was my own imagination’s creation? Why is she being this cold? Why does she seem so indifferent about me? I do not understand. I was lost in my thoughts for a few minutes before I decided I should call Amro.          

For a whole hour, I got Waiting every time I called his number. I called Dalia again and got Waiting too. Finally, when he answered I said, “I see that you and Dalia are getting your stories straight together. I’ve been getting waiting for over an hour now from both of you.” He did not respond. “What’s going on between you and Dalia? Tell me the truth,” I asked. He answered all of my questions the same way Dalia had, more or less. There was no point asking him anymore so I just said, “Amro, I’m going to ask you to do something for me and I pray to God that you don’t refuse.” “Ask,” he said. “Please stop seeing Dalia.”

“Please stop seeing Dalia,” I repeated my plea then continued, “I’m begging you. I have never asked you to do anything for me before, have I? Now would you do this for me?” “I’m sorry I can’t,” he said. I cannot say I was surprised but even though I anticipated that particular answer, my heart ached. “Listen, Amro, you’ve been my friend for four years now and you only know this girl for what? Five weeks? Go and find someone else. There are a thousand girls out there. It’s not like it’s hard! Just spare this one. Is that too much to ask for?” “I’m sorry,” he repeated his stupid answer. “Come on! I’ve welcomed you into my house. You’ve met my family. I’ve been a good friend for you. Why would she matter to you more? I really think I have a chance at making things right with Dalia again but it’s not going to happen with you around. Please let her go.” I’m sorry,” he said yet again. “Well, I’m sorry too. I’m sorry I’ve ever called you my friend.” I yelled at him and hung up.

That night was the night the truth finally sank in. Dalia was slipping quickly through my fingers like small grains of sands. Up until then, I have been feeling mostly disoriented and upset but now I fell into full-fledged depression. I lost my desire for food and my weight started decreasing notably. I just slept and slept wishing I would never wake up. I had no energy to go to school and I had to be dragged everyday by my family and friends. I cried many nights and I could not help feeling weak and stupid every time I did.        

A couple of weeks later from that call, I saw them together for the first time. I was on my way back home from Panino’s Palestine branch where I had lunch with a couple of friends when I noticed Amro’s car parked in front of Chili’s. I found myself parking not too far away and stepping into the restaurant. There right in front of my eyes, they were sharing a meal. Even though I knew about them and even though I had anticipated and dreaded this day, I was not prepared for the sight of them so close to each other laughing their hearts out on some meaningless joke probably.  

Amro spotted me first and almost choked on his food. He nodded to Dalia and she turned to face me. Her face went pale the same way I expect it did when Bashar saw them that day. I turned around and headed to my car. Just when I was turning it on, Dalia opened the passenger’s door and got in. “Dalia, what do you want?” I asked firmly. “It’s not what you think, ok? Nada, Maha and his brother were supposed to come with us but Maha and his brother decided to go on a private date and Nada couldn’t make it so we figured we shouldn’t change our lunch plans. There’s nothing going on between us if that’s what you think.” “Dalia, what are you trying to do now? It doesn’t matter what I think. You’ve made that very clear the last time we spoke.” “No, I didn’t mean it that way. I can’t stand to see that hurt look in your eyes so full of blame like I’m betraying you.” “I’ll make sure to remember that next time I see you with him. Now go away please.” Her eyes started to tear up and I felt like a jerk for making her cry. My heart softened a little bit. “Listen, I’m sorry but you have to understand how hard it is for me to see you with him. We’ll talk later. Now would you please leave me alone? Don’t keep him waiting.” I looked away as she let herself out and headed back inside.      

My depression seemed to grow more with every passing day. The only thing that made me feel better was talking to Dalia and so I did. It was a weak and a foolish thing to do but I did not know what else to do. I decided to pretend that there is absolutely nothing going on between her and my friend even though I saw them together more often than I liked. She must have felt guilty because after a while she started talking to me and calling me too instead of only listening and receiving my calls. We agreed on remaining friends even though in my mind, every word I said and move I made were designed to help me win her back.      

The mid year finals came and I failed every single subject I had. I could not care less about studying. I am the student who never had a C my whole life was awarded many F’s all at once. The way I felt was consuming me. I thought day and night about Dalia to the point where I hated myself but still I could not help it. I found myself choking up on the smallest of things; a song on the radio that we used to sing together, the sight of a restaurant that we liked to have lunch at, our favorite TV show, and a million other things that reminded me of her. Then one day I hit rock bottom.      

I was on my way to college when I saw Dalia and Amro in his car. I was speeding and I did not pay attention to the road ahead as I stared at them. I hit the car in front of me and the air bag exploded in my face. The man whom I hit his car turned out to be good man making sure I was fine before calling the traffic police. His car was only slightly affected while mine’s was severely damaged. I was not hurt except for mild pain in my neck and a small contusion in my face with a burning sensation due to the impact of the air bag. It took us a couple of hours to finish all the paperwork. I had my car towed to the repair shop then took a taxi and went to the hospital where my mom works. She was surprised to see when me when I entered her office. I closed the door and broke down in tears.    

My mother hugged me asking me what is wrong. I told her about the accident and she said it does not matter as long as I was not hurt. I cried like a baby saying, “Why is all of this happening to me? What have I done to deserve this?” I was no longer speaking about the accident only. My mother knew all about Dalia. I did not tell her everything but she knew everything. I was always an open book especially to my mother. She knew the reason behind my misery. She assured me that everything is going to be all right. I felt foolish and weak for wasting so much time and energy on memories and things that have passed. The past is the past and should no longer matter. I am better than this. I have to be stronger than this. There is no point throwing it all away for someone who does not want it or even care. I am going to move on, I promised myself.           

I called Dalia that night and told her about my accident. She said she was sorry. I told her I no longer intended on calling her. I told her she was welcome to call me anytime and if she ever needed anything, I will be there for her but that I have to move on and put myself back together and keeping contact with her is only going to make it harder. She said she understood and wished me all the best. I hated her for that. She could not care less if we kept in touch or not.       

I started attempting to concentrate in classes. My friends helped me and gave me all of their lecture notes and workbooks. I had so much to catch up on and so little time left before the finals but I pushed myself to the extreme. My wounds were slowly healing and I felt a little bit better with every new morning. Still I needed more than my family and friends’ help. I needed divine intervention.     

A few days later, I was swimming at Al-Bilad hotel where I used to be a member of the health club. It was exactly three weeks prior to the finals. As I was getting out of the swimming pool, I heard someone speaking to me. “Leaving so soon?” the voice said. I looked around and saw a man that looked in his fifties sitting on one of the plastic chairs around the pool. It was strange that I did not notice him coming in while I was in the pool. “Yeah. I need to go home and study. The finals aren’t too far away.” “What are you studying?” he asked. “Medicine,” I replied. “Mashallah. May God help you my son.” “Yes please say a prayer for me because I need it. I’m not sure I can pass this year. I need God’s help.” “Ask him and he will. Don’t worry inshallah you’ll get what you ask and work hard for.” I headed towards him. For some reason I felt like I wanted to talk to him. He had a deep calming voice and an appearance of wisdom and friendliness. “It’s just that I’ve been through some hard times lately. I’ve had many problems and I couldn’t concentrate on studying at all. I feel like everything that could go wrong, went wrong all at once. I also just had a car accident a couple of days ago that represented the cherry on top of everything.”

“Listen, my son, I don’t know what you’re going through and I don’t claim to understand but let me tell you about myself. Three years ago, my only daughter was diagnosed with Leukemia and four months later, my wife was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. At first, I kept wondering why all of this happened to me and what have I done to deserve any of this. It was such a tough time. I struggled to accept what has been destined for my family and me. Then I found God. I wasn’t a religious person at all, I’m still not. Nevertheless, you have no idea what comfort it brings you knowing that all of this was meant to happen, that everything has a reason and that even what you might perceive as your biggest misfortunate could be your biggest blessing in disguise. I could’ve been a miserable man but I chose not to be that. I cut back on my work. I took plenty of vacations and spent much more time with my family, time that I’ve never spent before with them. Time that I would never have spent if not for what happened. My wife’s cancer has been treated and my daughter’s leukemia is in remission now. Today I can tell you without a doubt that these three years have been, albeit the hardest, the happiest times of my entire life. I have been blessed. I’m a different person than who I used to be. Regardless of what you’re going through, I assure you it’s all been written and destined for you. Allah is more merciful on us than our own mothers are. Nothing happens without a reason and God works in mysterious ways. One day you’ll look back on all of these events and you’ll understand. You may not see it now but this could be the best thing that has ever happened to you. Try to find the silver lining in this dark cloud and the sun will shine through after a while. Just let God be your guide.”

I was mesmerized by this man. He spoke more eloquently than I could narrate. His words carried more wisdom and truth than I could portray. He backed his speech with verses of Al-Quran and Hadith more than I could remember. We talked for over an hour before he stood up and announced that he had to leave because he has other people to meet. I asked him if he came around often and he said he is here every day. I asked him how come I never saw him before since I too came every day but he joked and said that my eye sight must have problems. I shook his hand and thanked him. He told me everything is going to be all right and that I just need to place my faith in God. He wished me the best and walked away. Even though I kept coming to Al-Bilad hotel for many years to follow, I never saw him again.

“What’s wrong, dear?” I asked, worried. She remained silent. “Dalia, speak please.” I heard her take a deep breath then she said calmly, “Listen, Khalid, I’ve been thinking a lot lately; about us; about you and me.” She paused for a couple of seconds then continued, “And honestly, I don’t feel the same way I did before. I’m no longer sure that this is what I want, or that you are who I want.” I closed my eyes the hardest I could and tried to concentrate in order to comprehend what I was hearing. She kept going, “Something has changed. I don’t know if it’s you or if it’s me. It’s just not the same anymore.”          

Her words penetrated me like bullets. I was in disbelief. I was lost for words. I finally managed to formulate a “What?” that came out barely audible. “I’m sorry. Please try to understand. I’ve been having these thoughts in my head for a while now and I tried to dismiss them but they just won’t go away. I can’t help the way I’m feeling. You and I don’t feel right like we used to,” she said. “I don’t understand,” I said. She just shrugged and did not say anything. “May I ask why? What’s the reason for this sudden epiphany? What happened to make you change your mind like this, to make you feel like this? Was it something I did or said? Because if that’s so, I’m truly sorry. You know I never meant it.” “No, no. It’s not sudden. I told you I’ve had these thoughts for some time now. It’s nothing that you have said or done in particular but rather a big mix of many small things.” I was feeling utterly annoyed with the emotionless tone of her voice. She was like a news broadcaster delivering some horrible news but without it having any effect on her whatsoever like it did not concern her. Plainly explaining to me why she no longer wants to be with me.

“But then why didn’t you tell me the first time you felt this way? Maybe we could’ve worked things out,” I asked her. “This was something I needed to figure out on my own.” “So, now what? That’s it? You don’t love me anymore. It doesn’t matter that you have said you do only a couple of hours ago. You just pressed a button in you and everything simply disappeared?” “It’s not like that. I still love you but that’s not enough. What’s the point? I need something different from what you can offer me. I’ve come to realize that you’re not the one for me.” “Don’t you think it took you a little bit too long to realize that? Or is three years the equivalent of three days in your mind or something?” I was getting angry and frustrated. “Still not three years yet,” she pointed. I opened my eyes in disbelief! Is this the response she has? “Oh, I’m sorry, my mistake. Two years and eight months. I apologize,” I raised my voice at her.

“You don’t have to yell or get angry and please don’t be mean. Don’t you think I already feel as guilty as hell? It’s not easy on me too. This is not something I want to do.” Then don’t!” I exclaimed. “But I have to. So we don’t waste more time with each other than we already had.” “What? Waste more time? That was what we had? A waste of time?” “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. You know what I mean. We had some great times together and shared many beautiful memories but we can’t have more.” “What if I don’t want to accept this? What if I’m not going to play my role and go away? I’m not ready to let you go this easily. I love you. What can I do to make you see that and realize that what you’re doing is a mistake?” “Unfortunately, there’s nothing you can do.” “So you’re calling me just to inform me of your decision because your mind is obviously made up.” “True. I believe this is what’s best for both of us,” she said. “What’s best for both of us? Are you serious? You obviously didn’t think much of me when you made this decision.” It was too much for me to grasp. There was no way this could be happening. This is all just a stupid nightmare.        

She then said, “I meant to tell you sooner but I thought it’s best to wait till now since I’m leaving tomorrow. This way we both could have a break from each other. We need some time to think and figure out things.” “But I never asked for a break or time to figure out things. What’s wrong with you?” “We’ll talk when I get back. It’s only a month or so.” “I still don’t understand. Now what?” “Now we both go to sleep and we’ll talk when I get back, ok? Goodnight.” “Have a safe trip,” I said. It felt like a stupid thing to say but I guess I was in shock and did not know what else to say. She said goodbye and hung up. Of course, I could not sleep. The next night, I waited for her in the airport and saw her with her family entering the terminal. I do not know if she knew I was there or not.        

The best term to describe what I was going through the following month is denial. I felt kind of empty and sad because Dalia was not here but not to a great degree. I kept assuring myself that this is just a phase, something we will pass through. I told myself that the minute she comes back everything will be fixed and we will go back to the way we were before. I still did not know what prompted her to act that way but I reasoned that I could easily talk her out of such nonsense. I mean I love her. She knows that better than anyone else does. Why would she decide to end things so suddenly and unexpectedly? I remember at some point during that phone conversation, I felt like this was happening to someone else, not to me, not to us. Dalia loves me and everything will be just fine between us when she comes back, I assured myself for the millionth time.         

On the first day of the new school year, I called her early in the morning. She did not call me as she said she would when she comes back. She did not answer the first time so I called her again after a few minutes. “Hey,” she said. I smiled when I heard her voice. “Wait,” she told me. There was a lot of noise and laughter wherever she was that she had to go to somewhere a little bit quieter. “Good morning,” I said. “Good morning.” “Where are you? What’s all this noise?” I asked. She giggled and said, “It’s nothing. I’m at Starbucks with some friends. Anyways, how are you?” “I’m not fine. I miss you. When did you come back? Why didn’t you call me?” “I came back like five days ago. Sorry I meant to call you but I’ve been busy. Yeah I missed you too.” She said the last part of her sentence in a friendly way yet it did not sound sincere. “Dalia, I truly missed you. This passing month didn’t change a thing about the way I feel for you. It has been like hell without you.” She did not say anything so I continued, “I love you. That’s my best argument. Why don’t you give us a second chance? If more space is what you want then it’s fine but we don’t have to cut things off like this. I mean you came back and didn’t even bother to call me.”       

“Listen, Khalid, please don’t make this harder than it has to be for both of us. You’re obviously still hung over me and didn’t move on. I think it’s best if we didn’t speak for some time.” I could not believe what I was hearing. “What do you mean still didn’t move on. I don’t want to move on and of course I didn’t move on! It’s been only a month! Why do you say it like it’s something I should be ashamed of? Why are you being this cold?” “I’m sorry. I really have to go but I’m worried about you. We’ll talk later. Bye,” she said and hung up.    

During the first couple of weeks of school, everyone noticed how disoriented and upset I have become. I am usually a cheerful loud personality always laughing and making jokes so it was unfamiliar that they see me at the back of the class with my head down most of the time. I did not tell anyone anything though. I was a man with a mission now. Win Dalia back. I convinced myself that there is no way she could forget everything we shared just like that. I believed that by some effort on my side, she would see the mistake she has made and she will change her mind back. I made up excuses to call her and talk to her for a couple of minutes every now and then.   

A month later, I was feeling progression or so it seemed. I thought that my plan was working and I felt slightly better. Then one of my best friends, Bashar, took me aside one morning and asked me, “What’s going on between you and Dalia?” “What do you mean?” “When was the last time you saw her or spoke to her? Are you speaking to begin with?” he asked me. “Of course we’re speaking. I talked to her just last night,” I replied. “That Bitch!” he said. I thought I misheard the word at first but looking into Bashar’s expression, I knew he meant it. “Hey! Watch your mouth and be careful what you say,” I yelled at him. “I take it she didn’t tell you then,” he said. “Tell me what?” I was puzzled now. “I saw her with Amro not once but twice this last week.” “Amro who?” I asked. “Amro, your friend Amro,” he told me. I felt like the world was falling below me.

I was only seventeen when I had met Dalia for the first time. It seems like a long time ago but still I remember the finest details of that week in Dubai. We were both vacationing there during Al-Hajj holiday of our 2nd year in high school with our families. Fate had arranged for us to stay in the same hotel, Le Meridian Mina Seyahi. Her family and mine were, in addition to a Kuwaiti family, the only Arabs in the hotel that was filled with European tourists.    

Situated in the middle of the lobby was a grand piano on which a British pianist, George, used to play each night at 11. He was very talented and I liked to sit and listen to him whenever I had a chance. On our third night in the hotel, Dalia came, took a seat not too far away from me, and appeared to enjoy the music. I did not know her name then and only recognized her as the pretty girl from the Saudi family who checked in the previous day.          

I do not know what it is about being abroad that makes you do things out of character. I was a shy boy by nature and I had never approached a girl before in my life but a couple of minutes after George had finished, I found myself standing and heading towards where Dalia was sitting.

“Hi,” I said and she lifted her head to lay her beautiful eyes on me. I felt my knees go weak but somehow I managed to hold myself together. She was looking at me curiously. “Excuse my nervousness and excessive sweating but this is the first time I ever said Hi to a girl. Not to mention the fact that I could get slapped on the face any minute now but I figured if I’m to get slapped by someone, it might as well be you!” She had a funny look in her eyes now and I knew that what I just said was not what you would call smooth by any standard. I wished the earth would open up and swallow me. To my surprise, however, she let out a little giggle and I felt myself relax a little bit. “Good. That’s good. I heard that when you make a girl laugh it’s a good thing. Unless that’s a stupid rumor! Please don’t tell me it’s a stupid rumor,” I joked. She laughed and said, “It’s not a rumor. Making a girl laugh is a good thing.” “Thank you! You made me doubt myself there for a minute! Anyhow, my name is Khalid.” She smiled and told me her name was Dalia. I bowed my head and said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She exclaimed, “A gentleman!” “Well, no. I just watched too many movies.” She laughed again.      

We sat there and talked for about an hour before she told me she had to go upstairs to her room before her parents send the search patrol to find her. I stayed there for half an hour after she left replaying the conversation we just had in my head. I had learned that she was ten months older than I was but we were both in the same grade. She told me about her family and herself though she was careful not to tell me too many things contrary to me because I told her everything she asked about and more. We had agreed to meet at the same time and same place next evening if we could.

A week later, we were both checking out of the hotel. My family and I were going back to Jeddah while she and her family were switching hotels. We had a few conversations during that week whenever we had a chance but not many though because we were trying not to alert our parents’ attention to us. We had exchanged emails the night before my departure and promised to keep in touch when we go back to Jeddah. Needless to say, she was the only thing that I thought about on our flight back and the weeks to follow.

Now you can say the rest is history. I added her to my messenger contact list and we got used to hours and hours of online conversation when she got back. There was nothing we did not talk about or could not share with one another. One day a couple of days before our 11th grade finals we exchanged numbers because the internet had been forbidden on both us by our parents during the exams period. We did not talk for hours though on the mobile phone because we did not want to raise suspicion if the bills came higher than normal. I met Dalia for the first time after Dubai when she got back from her summer vacation in Paris a week before the 3rd year of high school started. She had gotten me a Winnie the Pooh holding a small Eiffel Tower and wanted to give it to me in person. We met in Starbucks and stayed there for three hours that constituted our actual first date.  

The following year witnessed the first time we held hands. During the 2nd term, I told her I loved her. She did not say anything. Two nights later, she called me and told me she loved me but that she panicked and did not know what to do when I told her how I felt. Exactly one month later, we kissed for the very first time.    

After we graduated form high school, I applied for medical school while she applied for dentistry. We both were accepted and were very happy. We drew plans for our lives in college. It was getting easier for us to go out together ever since my parents got me my first car right after I received my high school certificate. Dalia was the first one to take a ride in my car, even before my parents or anyone from my family or friends.      

College started and it brought us yet another facilitator to our relationship; Almokafa’at, Rewards. Each month we received a check with the value of 990SR from college for us to spend in whatever we wanted. Of course, both of our monthly rewards were spent on our dates or presents to each other but mainly they were spent on phone bills now each of us carried an extra mobile phone so we do not use our original ones paid for by our parents. Our parents did occasionally wonder where we were wasting our money but they never thought much of it.                  

During the first year of college, our feelings intensified and we started talking about marriage or at least an engagement even though we were still very young. We were in love or so I thought. She was everything to me and never did she make me feel I was anything less than that to her. Then summer came and she was leaving to Paris. On the night of her flight, she called me at 4 a.m. and woke me up. We had only hung up from each other a couple of hours ago after we said our goodnights. I smiled nonetheless and said, “good morning.” “Hey,” she said. “Why are you still awake?” I asked. “I couldn’t sleep.” She remained silent for a couple of minutes then said, “We need to talk.”