Zombie

Posted on October 19, 2008 | 14 Comments
I close my eyes and I think just before I sleep
Wouldn’t be wonderful to be someone else?
To know what it’s like to be able to breathe
Without having to despise myself
 
I contemplate suicide for the hundredth time
But it’s too selfish of an act to execute
I can’t control the thoughts in my mind
So I resort to what makes me feel better, self abuse
 
I imagine myself dead in a car crash
The pictures in my head give me some relief
They’re like stains that cannot be washed
Monsters in my head that refuse to leave
 
I break the mirror with my bare fist
The pain and blood bring me back to life
I smile and I think of slitting open my wrist
Unconsciously I run and grab the sharpest knife
 
But I know that I probably won’t succeed
I’m too much of a coward to go though with it
So I make a small cut and watch myself bleed
Maybe I won’t feel like a zombie if only for a minute
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14 Responses to Zombie

  1. roa'a | October 19, 2008 at 12:56 am | Reply

    Damaaaaar > 7araam 3aleeek > kont ba atsha7taf 7aja 7elwaa te’3ayer mazajee !!!!

  3. hissweetheart | October 19, 2008 at 11:28 pm | Reply

    Now, that’s a different way ;D

    Loved it, a coward for me is not the one who cuts himself but the one who kills himself!!

  4. Bassem | October 20, 2008 at 6:09 pm | Reply

    roa’a, lol sorry wallah! alfekra bs enek you know you’re not alone :P

    Samahaer, mashallah a lot of breast cancer campaigns i see! Jeddah young Doctors group are also doing something so we’ll see what happens. Thanks for the invite. How come I’m not an organizer :P

    hissweetheart, I agree with u

  5. Glamour | October 21, 2008 at 3:37 pm | Reply

    omg, what’s wrong with u ?!
    cheer up dude !!!

    but i loved it hehe ;P .. creepy

  6. Lino | October 21, 2008 at 4:34 pm | Reply

    Very suicidal but I can understand what’s going through his head I guess – still very sad though ;P

  7. manutdfanatic | October 22, 2008 at 12:20 am | Reply

    I always land up on your blog when I’m half-asleep. Totally unfair.

    I want to talk to this fellow and get his mind straightened out. I tend to be intrusive like that.

  8. Bassem | October 22, 2008 at 5:44 pm | Reply

    Glamour, lol it’s ok thanks for your concern. Everyone has her or his dark moments !
    Creepy is good ;)

    Lino, there’s poetry in someone’s willingness to give up on life, don;t u think?

    manutdfanatic, it’s good then.. you concentrate less and you find my writings to be better than they really are :P
    You might talk to him if you want ! but you wouldn’t the be the only one who tried

  9. manutdfanatic | October 23, 2008 at 4:54 pm | Reply

    Sure. I’ll be the only one who’ll succeed. :)

  10. samaher | October 24, 2008 at 2:05 am | Reply

    if you want to organize just tell me
    we still have alot of campaigns for cancers and other medical stuff :S
    ya the young doctors i heard about them i think my manger knows them or something like that

    however if you ever felt like working in such a thing just tell me :)

  11. Bassem | October 24, 2008 at 11:16 pm | Reply

    samaher, 6ayeb you should have doctors you know in your campaigns :P

    hmm… add me on hotmail and let me know the details if you don’t mind! bassem-kurdi@

  12. Lino | October 26, 2008 at 7:51 pm | Reply

    There’s poetry in everything ;P

  13. dalal | October 19, 2009 at 2:38 pm | Reply

    speechless ! whatever u were feeling at that moment i just felt it

  14. Bassem | October 22, 2009 at 2:40 am | Reply

    dalal,
    That means I did a good job in portraying that feeling
    Thank you

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