I sleep on her side of the bed
I lay my head on her pillow
And cover myself with the scent of her that is yet to disappear
I close my eyes dreaming of one thing
And I wake up wishing for one thing
I dream and wish in the morning she would be here
I read yesterday’s newspapers
I drink my coffee black
No cream or sugar. The same way she used to drink hers
I shower and dress up
To get on with another meaningless day
I leave after I kiss goodbye each of her framed pictures
I listen to Fairouz in my car
Singing in a childish way like she used to do
Is it illogical that I still feel her presence by my side?
I hold the air as if it’s her hand
The miles seem to grow longer
And I smile so I don’t break down and cry
I come back home to emptiness
Silence can be so loud sometimes
But I escape to the sound of her voice in my head
I wait for night to come
So I can finally surrender again
And go to sleep on her side of the bed
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I must confess I don’t remember the last time we kissed
I feel guilty but in my defense, I didn’t know it was going to be our last
And I can’t help feeling that there’s something I’ve missed
So, do you think I could kiss you one final time or is it too much to ask?
I also find it hard to remember our last conversation
I just know that we’ve talked about nothing and everything for hours
We were talking randomly without much concentration
You mentioned something about wanting a thousand white flowers
I think I foolishly promised you that and more
Now I don’t I have the chance to keep the promise I’ve made to you
You know I’ve never broken a promise before
But I guess it’s not my choice this time, there’s nothing much I can do
For what it’s worth, I love you and I always will
But I know that someday you’ll fade away into a beautiful past
I just want to steal a moment in which time stands still
Do you think I could kiss you one final time or is it too much to ask?
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When it comes to matters of the heart
I know very well that I’m not smart
I’m an uneducated ignorant boy
Wait, that’s just the start
When it comes to matters of the heart
I admit that I’m stupid and blind
I fail to see what’s right in front of me
I fail to read between the lines
When it comes to matters of the heart
I’m not fluent or eloquent in my speech
I say the wrong things at the wrong times
Then I bite my tongue to bleed
When it comes to matters of the heart
I’m just another lonely fool
So it’s okay if you choose to refuse
This unconditional love that I have for you
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I dream of her and I don’t care
If she’s dreaming of someone else
I wish her heaven and for that I’m willing to go to hell
She smiles and I smile back
By doing so I only hurt myself
I store my feelings in a box and put it up on a deserted shelf
My mouth bleeds from inside
Cut by the words trapped within
Somehow she has broken my defenses and let herself in
She has complete power over me
And being weak makes me scared
I fear one day I’ll look for her and I won’t find her there
Taken away by another man
Stolen from my pleasant dreams
But if my loss means her happiness then it’s fine with me
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I try to keep my distance
But I don’t see the difference
You’re closer than my veins are
At night I say a little prayer
To wake up and not find you there
Still residing inside of my heart
I try to rip you off my skin
But you’re attached deeply within
Between memories and old scars
I ruin this perfect picture
Of you and me together
I taint it with black tears and tar
How I hate photographs
The happiness we used to have
Seems unrealistic and exceedingly far
Let it all burn to the ground
We are all destined to fall down
I just pray next time I don’t fall this hard
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In the middle of the darkness
A ray of light can give you hope
That anything is possible
In the middle of the ugliness
Something beautiful can make you go on
You are my something beautiful
And I’m not asking you to heal my wound
Just keep me from bleeding
If only for a little while
And squeeze my hand in yours gently
Give me a little strength
So that I can face the world with a smile
Inspire me with the words to write
You are my muse
You are the never ending poem
Help me escape the awful reality
Visit me in my sleep
In my pleasant dreams you belong
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