I drink my coffee in the morning
Black and bitter like everything else in my life is
Outside my window, rain is pouring
Raindrops are salty tears I’m too familiar with
I stand naked underneath the shower
Everyday I pray I will finally feel unstained and clean
But there’s simply not enough water
To wash away the blood, tears, memories and all that’s between
I hold my breath for as long as I can
Am I strong enough to fight my instinct to survive?
I breathe in against my will and I don’t understand
How can one be not dead but far away from being alive?