Zombie

I close my eyes and I think just before I sleep
Wouldn’t be wonderful to be someone else?
To know what it’s like to be able to breathe
Without having to despise myself
 
I contemplate suicide for the hundredth time
But it’s too selfish of an act to execute
I can’t control the thoughts in my mind
So I resort to what makes me feel better, self abuse
 
I imagine myself dead in a car crash
The pictures in my head give me some relief
They’re like stains that cannot be washed
Monsters in my head that refuse to leave
 
I break the mirror with my bare fist
The pain and blood bring me back to life
I smile and I think of slitting open my wrist
Unconsciously I run and grab the sharpest knife
 
But I know that I probably won’t succeed
I’m too much of a coward to go though with it
So I make a small cut and watch myself bleed
Maybe I won’t feel like a zombie if only for a minute

14 thoughts on “Zombie

  1. roa’a, lol sorry wallah! alfekra bs enek you know you’re not alone 😛

    Samahaer, mashallah a lot of breast cancer campaigns i see! Jeddah young Doctors group are also doing something so we’ll see what happens. Thanks for the invite. How come I’m not an organizer 😛

    hissweetheart, I agree with u

    Reply
  2. Glamour, lol it’s ok thanks for your concern. Everyone has her or his dark moments !
    Creepy is good 😉

    Lino, there’s poetry in someone’s willingness to give up on life, don;t u think?

    manutdfanatic, it’s good then.. you concentrate less and you find my writings to be better than they really are 😛
    You might talk to him if you want ! but you wouldn’t the be the only one who tried

    Reply
  3. if you want to organize just tell me
    we still have alot of campaigns for cancers and other medical stuff :S
    ya the young doctors i heard about them i think my manger knows them or something like that

    however if you ever felt like working in such a thing just tell me 🙂

    Reply
  4. samaher, 6ayeb you should have doctors you know in your campaigns 😛

    hmm… add me on hotmail and let me know the details if you don’t mind! bassem-kurdi@

    Reply

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