My Last Morning

The sun rays slowly sneak through the blinds
I open my eyes in momentary oblivion to the dim truth
It dawns on me that you are not by my side
I close my eyes to complete my dream of you


I hide under the covers from the cruel world
I’ll stay safe in here imagining you in my head
In the silence I can easily hear your words
“Good morning.” I usually smile but now I cry instead


My feet touch the cold floor and my brain awakes
I robotically brush my teeth while staring at the mirror
I look into my own eyes filled with despair and I break
What good is my reflection standing alone without yours?


It’s a difficult task choosing the clothes to wear
I stand there unable to make a simple decision
I pick what’s closest to me and I just don’t care
I remember how you always say it’s art and precision


I drink my coffee black and bitter like my soul
I flip through the morning newspapers mindlessly 
I inhale my cigarette hoping the smoke will fill the hole
Every day I keep repeating the cycle endlessly 


I turn off the lights in the apartment and in me
Today I will not go through the routine life motions
This is my last morning, I seek the permanent dream
With a smile and a sunny backdrop, I walk into the ocean


Am I your dream?

Or only the person you wake up to?

Am I the destination?

Or the journey you had to go through?


Am I your reason to cry?

Or the just the shoulder to cry on?

Am I your sacred secret?

Or the trophy you show to everyone?


Did you wait for me?

Or did I just show up in the right moment?

When you’re heart was vulnerable

And it was ready to be easily stolen?


Did you fight for me?

Would you take me for granted?

Do you have a scar for me?

To guide you to me when you’re stranded


We as humans tend to forget

Victories should never come cheap

I’ve lost some of me to find you

You’ll never smile until you weep


Am I your mountain?

The epiphany of blood, sweat and tears

Am I truly worth it?

Standing up to all that you love and fear?


Because you are my purpose

You are the only fate I choose

The leap of faith I take blindly

Having you is having something to lose

Wonderful Illusion

I run to you
You turn out to be a mirage
I stare in confusion
Were you ever true?
Did I make you up?
Are you a wonderful illusion?
I touch your hand
There is no warmth
Just static electricity
I think I understand
You are physically gone
But within me you live for eternity
I kiss your lips
You vanish into thin air
Another daydream
I kiss your fingertips
You stay a second longer
You know how much that means
Are you a ghost?
Is this your restless soul?
Is it comfort you seek?
Do you feel lost?
Come sit by me
There is peace in words we don’t speak
I can feel you around me
I foolishly promise you
Everything is going to be fine
You have found me
You are never forgotten
My heart will always be your shrine