My Last Morning

The sun rays slowly sneak through the blinds
I open my eyes in momentary oblivion to the dim truth
It dawns on me that you are not by my side
I close my eyes to complete my dream of you

 

I hide under the covers from the cruel world
I’ll stay safe in here imagining you in my head
In the silence I can easily hear your words
“Good morning.” I usually smile but now I cry instead

 

My feet touch the cold floor and my brain awakes
I robotically brush my teeth while staring at the mirror
I look into my own eyes filled with despair and I break
What good is my reflection standing alone without yours?

 

It’s a difficult task choosing the clothes to wear
I stand there unable to make a simple decision
I pick what’s closest to me and I just don’t care
I remember how you always say it’s art and precision

 

I drink my coffee black and bitter like my soul
I flip through the morning newspapers mindlessly 
I inhale my cigarette hoping the smoke will fill the hole
Every day I keep repeating the cycle endlessly 

 

I turn off the lights in the apartment and in me
Today I will not go through the routine life motions
This is my last morning, I seek the permanent dream
With a smile and a sunny backdrop, I walk into the ocean